T-minus 6 days until Christmas!
This year has FLOWN by. Here’s
hoping for a much better 2017.
Unsurprisingly, I didn’t read or watch everything that I was meaning
to. And I’m still determined to read a
Christmas themed book, because it didn’t happen last week, either.
I ended up watching seven movies this week, and not one of them was the
new Star Wars spinoff. I live in the Midwest, and we had a
significant ice storm on Friday night.
The Midwest is no stranger to frigid temperatures or snow in the winter,
but every year when we get our first taste of icy roads, everyone takes it as a
sign of the apocalypse and stays off the road all weekend. I ran to Redbox before things got too
treacherous and stocked up.
Books
Gemina by Amie Kaufman and
Jay Kristoff: B. I’m such a fan of the
structure of this series, which is told through instant messages, memos,
progress reports, and other non-traditional sources. The only major quip I’m developing with this
series is that it’s supposed to be set 500 years in the future, but the
dialogue and references are things we are currently aware of, which seems
unlikely to be as accessible 500 years in the future. Also, even though the book features different
main characters, the interaction between the bad guys feels like a carbon
copy. Finally, it was initially hard for
me to get behind a torrid romance between a spoiled teenager and her drug
dealer, but there you go.
Hilo Saving the Whole Wide World:
C+.
I forgot I got this arc at Bookcon earlier this year. I read the first edition a couple months in
advance of reading the sequel, but then I cleverly forgot about its existence
until I was putting back my arc of Gemina (I was following along in the book
while listening to the epic full cast).
This graphic novel was a breeze to get through, and I slightly enjoyed
it more than the original.
Movies
Collateral Beauty: F. This is the kind of movie I hated
from the first scene to the last. It's the kind of movie where characters
aren't directed as people but instead as Hallmark greeting cards, or any other
two dimensional paper product. The Will Smith character tries so hard to get
our approval, but by the third act it's clear that he isn't blameless. There is
so much bullshit going on in this film, and I don't think I can talk about much
because it'd fall under the spoiler territory. Hell, the premise in the one
trailer I saw made it seem like death, love and time were these A Christmas
Carol ghosts trying to calm a grieving Will Smith, but it's actually presented
to us as three actors in New York who get hired by Edward Norton, Kate Winslet
and Michael Pena to make Will Smith feel even more crazy in the hope that they
can force him away from his own advertising company...because it's been 2 years
since the death of Smith's daughter and all he does at work (I SHIT YOU NOT) is
build these intrinsic domino structures for weeks on end, and skirts literally
all of his other responsibilities. Because of this, his business is going to go
bankrupt any minute, but Smith is nonplussed by it. He doesn't even pay his rent
at his apartment because fuck it, and his landlord can't kick him out because
Will Smith doesn't have a house phone...even though the landlord lives in the
apartment next to him.
Oh, it gets worse. MUCH worse.
FUCK THIS WHOLE MOVIE! The last three movies I've seen were this,
Hardcore Henry and The Boss, and I thoroughly hated all three of them. I'm
going to go have an existential crisis now, bye.
Why Him: D. The opening scene has James Franco flashing
his pubic hair. The film never really recovers from that.
Miss Sloane: C+. It's your garden variety
pseudo-intellectual political drama. Jessica Chastain does a capable job, which
makes the film easier to get through; that said, Gugu Mbatha-Raw is clearly
best in show. The film utilizes any trope it can get its hand on, which makes
the proceedings far too predictable. That third act dropped it from a B to a
C+.
The Hunting Ground: B+. Why the hell did it take an icy
Friday night for me to catch this on Netflix, a year after its release?! This
documentary is fantastic and heart wrenching. I do wish it wouldn't have
glossed over male rape victims, but nonetheless the film has plenty of quality
material.
The Shallows: C. Completely harmless fun. There are
some genuine jump scares, and even though we all know the main character's fate
(because of course we do), it's still a simple time killer.
Southside with You: B-. Modest film that doesn't overstay
its welcome, and features acting so good that you forget how uninteresting the
plot is; the Lifetime network would have trouble marketing this film. Barack
and Michelle smoke?!
The Lobster: B+. I can't even call what the plot
does an allegory anymore. It's a fantastic film with a script that kept me
captivated for two hours.
Here is what I plan to read and watch this week:
Books
A Christmas Carol by Charles
Dickens: For real this time.
I’m not sure what else I’ll read this week. I have a couple plays I got from the library,
along with a book written in verse. My
holiday break from work starts Thursday afternoon and lasts until January 3rd,
so I’m going to have plenty of time to read.
Movies
Rouge One: A Star Wars Story: For real this time. Some asshole on the internet already spoiled
the ending for me, so I’m hoping I can forget it before I watch.
Fences: This one opens Christmas Day. I read the play last month, and I’m excited
for the adaptation starring Denzel Washington and Viola Davis.
Passengers: Critics aren’t being kind to this Chris
Pratt/Jennifer Lawrence film, but after that godawful Collateral Beauty, I feel
like anything would be better in comparison.
Elle: A French thriller that is getting the year’s
best acclaim? Sign me up!
I think some other Oscar caliber movies are opening near me this week,
so I’ll have to check out what we have.
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